Story by Nina KaPow
Illustration by Bailey Meyers
It’s summer! It’s the sun coming out to play with us!!! Oh man, this is truly the time when life is best. It’s when every plant and young person bursts into life, when the wind is sweetened with sunshine and the world just seems so much happier. Savor this time. Tell the people you love just how glad you are that they’re in your life. And then get yourself a Boccie Ball or a Long Island Ice Tea so you have something to sip beside the barbecue.
Send your sex and relationship questions to [email protected]. I can’t answer with the authority of a shrink or doctor, because I’m frankly not either one of those. But I can answer with the authority of someone who’s had their sundress fly up in the EMU ampitheater during a nice summer walk. Sigh. God bless granny panties.
 
My girlfriend wanted me to go see this horrible chick flick, and I agreed to go just to be nice. But while we were there, some of my friends saw me going into it. They made fun of me for seeing the movie later, asking if I liked it and if it made me grow a vagina. What do I say to them? I thought good boyfriends were supposed to see girly movies with their girlfriends every once in a while. —I Bought The Tickets
Your friends are dicks. You absolutely did the right thing by going with your girlfriend, even if it was a small sacrifice on your part. That’s called being a good boyfriend. That’s being a grown-up. I guarantee your friends would see every chick flick ever made if it led to them having better relationships.
Nina, I’m going crazy. I have a huge crush on a girl in my journalism class. She’s smart, really hot, and I can tell she really cares about being a journalist. But all my friends are telling me that I shouldn’t date someone who’s also in the J-school, because we’ll always be competing with each other. Is this true? —Woodward Seeking Bernstein
This is truly a tough one, because the point your friends are trying to make is valid. Entering into a relationship with someone in the same career as you is an extremely risky thing to do, not only because of competition but also because of jealousy. Consider the time period, too. You’re both in college, right when people are preparing to go out into the real world. Unless you two are planning to go into different areas of focus, you could very well end up competing for the same internships. Which could lead to bitterness pretty fast.
I think it’s okay if you ask this girl out for the time being. Hell, I think you should always ask someone out if you’ve got a fever for them. But seriously, don’t ignore the career thing. It seems premature, but you really don’t want to be setting yourself up for a bitter situation.
I’m gay, and I follow politics pretty closely. I’m looking to vote for a candidate that hasn’t come out for gay rights over another one who’s come out in favor of them. It makes me feel weird to say that, but the other one just fits with my own personal politics. Should I feel bad for this? I‘m so afraid that people will judge me for being gay and voting for someone that hasn’t okay with me getting married. —Afraid to Drop the Ballot
Ballot, you can vote however you fucking please. If you’re smart enough to follow politics in America, you’ve earned the right to vote for whoever you want. Gay marriage is one issue in America, among issues like economy stimulus, abortion rights, and oil pipelines. If you feel a strong urge to vote for one candidate, then you should. And no one should bully you into voting one way or another.
Also, you say this candidate hasn’t come out explicitly against gay marriage rights. They could, Ballot! Watch and see. You may be making a mountain out of a molehill.
Okay, I want to say before I tell you my problem that I love my girlfriend so much. I’ve loved her forever and I would never ever want her to change inside. But here’s my problem: I want her to grow bigger boobs.
I don’t know where this came from. She’s so so sexy and I’ve always found her attractive. It’s just that lately I’ve had weird fantasies where her boobs grow bigger and bigger in front of me, until they’re just huge. I was just surfing porn one night (oh my god, I sound like a jerk!), came across a video where that happened, and it just totally turned me on.
Like I said, I love my girlfriend and I want to stay with her. But how do I tell her that this is what I want? I feel like such a dirtbag, because I’ve always loved her just the way she is. This is a very recent thing in our relationship. What do I say?? —Don’t Want To Drive Her Away
Duckie, calm the fuck down. You’re not a dirtbag. You have a breast expansion fetish.
This one’s waaaaaay more common than you think. Like you’ve already discovered, there’s plenty of porn out there for it. And it makes sense-what breast-lover wouldn’t love watching a pair just expand until who knows when? But here’s the secret to sexual fetishes, Drive: They don’t always have to transfer to real-life sex play. You don’t hear about people actually stepping on every baby rabbit they see with their stiletto heels or regularly humping their distant cousins, right? You probably would be just fine if your partner’s boobs didn’t get bigger in real life. Don’t feel so guilty. You have a newly discovered side of your sexuality-watch more porn! Script out new fantasies in your head! Even tell your partner, once you feel comfortable enough and you think she can handle it. Who knows? She might surprise you and don an inflatable bra one night (which do exist, by the way).
And for the record: Surfing for porn when you’re in a relationship does not make you a jerk. As long as you’re telling her as much or as little as she wants to be told (and being neat and tidy with what’s shooting out during the surf session), you have nothing to be ashamed of.
 
What’s Ruffling Feathers This Week: This is a BIGGIE for anyone preparing to have sex for the first time. Or ever. A story from Reuters reveals that while condoms and taking birth control pills are effective in preventing pregnancy, but they’re not nearly as effective as other methods. A copper IUD called Paragard (like that one from that  one episode of House) is by far the most effective method for women, preventing pregnancy for around 10 years. Pills and condoms are certainly better than nothing, understand. But every year, 9% of all women on the Pill experience an unplanned pregnancy. The stats for women who use condoms go up to 18-21%. I’ll disclose here: I don’t have an IUD. But if I ever needed a reason to wedge something up in there, holy fuck, that’s a good one.

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