Guest Blog and Photos By Keeley Tillotson
Wednesday: my fourth day back in Eugene. I have had three nights of sleep in my own bed, attended five classes, eaten ten dorm food meals and had countless conversations with my familiar friends and hall mates. And yet, being “back to normal” remains a struggle. As I continue trying to wrap my mind around my experiences in Los Angeles, I am constantly interrupted by the question: “How was your break?”. This inquiry never fails to leave me speechless as I search for the right words to communicate how my mindset has shifted since those seven days. My Alternative Spring Break undoubtedly left me acutely thankful for my many blessings and privileges — my family, a safe place to live, a great education. Above all, though, my L.A. experiences clearly reveal to me what I want to change about my life – namely, the people and attitudes I have chosen to surround myself with for most of my college experience.
I have always been thankful for my friends. They make me laugh, understand me, calm me down and keep me grounded. Going on this trip, however, showed me how strong and how inspirational friendships are capable of being. We left for L.A. as acquaintances, but seven days of lighthearted conversations, serious reflections and varying emotional experiences later, the group I traveled with had somehow become a unit, a family. Though everybody brought distinctly unique traits to the group, every one of the members demonstrated equal passion and vision both for themselves and for the world — something that continued to push and inspire me throughout the week. The group reflections at the end of the day were not only opportunities to share our experiences and thoughts about the service we were doing, but they also allowed us to learn about and inspire each other. By Tuesday I was already dreading the end of the week. I was unsurprised to find myself crying several times Friday night as we shared our last reflection, though I was a little surprised that I didn’t even want the 13 hour van ride from L.A. to Eugene to end.
My first morning waking up in my own bed in Eugene, I felt an enormous sense of loss. Though I love and enjoy the company of my college friends, it is now clear to me that day to day I have not been motivated by many of the people I have surrounded myself with. As I opened my eyes and looked around at my familiar cramped surroundings, I realized all at once that I didn’t want my life to go “back to normal” at all. I just wanted to go back to L.A.
Since my Alternative Spring Break, I have been reexamining my life and rearranging my priorities. I realize now that my key to living a fulfilling and purposeful life lies not only in doing good things for others, but in surrounding myself with people who will inspire and encourage me to be my best self. In the company of my Alternative Break group, I never felt judged, and, even more importantly, I never felt judging. Not to say this was a group devoid of sarcasm or humor – quite the opposite in fact. But always present, no matter the tone of the conversation, was a sense of camaraderie, of mutual purpose, and of love.
I am genuinely excited to seek volunteer opportunities in Eugene. I can’t wait to use what I learned in L.A. to help children in my own community. Nevertheless, I do have one other motive behind my future service: to seek out more passionate, driven and unique people so I can continue to be my own best self as well and as often as possible.
Learn more about Ethos’ weeklong series, My Alternative Break.
